Repairing The Damage

by

Thomas K.

"Good judgment, a careful sense of timing, courage, and prudence---these are the qualities we shall need when we take Step Nine” This is the opening statement from the 12x12 and explains to us what needs to be done and the necessary attitude we must adopt in order to repair the havoc we have caused as a result of our alcoholism.  Much thought went into the careful choosing of the words judgment, timing, courage, and prudence and all should be adhered to as one goes about the repairing of the damage.

In italics in the Big Book on pg. 76, while talking about the 8th and 9th steps, are the words "we would go to any lengths for victory over alcohol."  Just showing a sincere effort by attending meetings and not drinking will show a remarkable forgiving attitude from many people.  And while many of our amends will be welcome with open arms some will be refused and it is these which could yet test our sobriety once again, producing resentments along with a flare-up of ego.  We're an impatient bunch and we want things fixed now!  How dare this person refuse my honest and sincere apology?  Don't they realize that this time I really mean business?  This is a situation where we need to make our amends and then let time heal the damage.  Patience must be the order of the day.  By taking advantage of opportunities where we can do the right thing a positive example will be shown and in time things could be forgiven.  But remember it isn't on our clock.

While we can be incredibly impatient we can procrastinate with best of society and facing our creditors is an area that should be taken on right away if we mean business about our drinking.  The debt to the gas and electric company needs to be faced immediately or you'll be writing in candlelight!  Call and tell them the truth, that you're trying to make things right again.  You might be pleasantly surprised how a retailer reacts when you want to make good on a check that was returned for insufficient funds.  There are stores that have a special fund set up for the payment of items that were stolen.  We're not alone anymore, as we have a power greater than ourselves in our life to help guide us.

Good judgment (from our sponsor) comes into play when it comes to the other woman/man in our lives who understands us, which is the reason why the last part of the step says "except when to do so would injure them or others."  However, we must be willing to make amends which takes us back to the statement "we would go to any lengths for victory over alcohol."  These are things which should be discussed with our sponsor and we should not be afraid to seek outside help if necessary.  We can't necessarily rebuild the damage from a hurricane ourselves; we might need help.

Many of us have spent 20 or more years drinking reeking havoc along the way.  We could liken ourselves to a termite-ridden structure.  They will keep eating away year after year after year until one day it collapses.  It can either be rebuilt and repaired or it can remain a pile of rubble.  We choose not only to rebuild but also to make it better!