Heard at Meetings

·                    Treat your mind like a bad neighborhood - don't go there alone.

·                    Ten out of ten people die, so don't take life too seriously.

·                    Be profound, funny or quiet.

·                    After you talk in a meeting, listen to hear if you said anything.

·                    I don't need your help today. Love, God.

·                    Our sickness is between our ears.

·                    Want to hear God laugh? Tell Him your plans.

·                    Don't expect to learn about people from books; a person can't fit in a bookcase.

·                    Now I can wake up and say, "Good morning, God!" rather than "Good God, it's morning!"

·                    When I turned myself over to God, I took my life out of the hands of an idiot.

·                    When the world comes to an end, it will do so without my permission.

·                    If you pray for a Cadillac and God sends a jackass, ride it.

·                    The man who sponsors himself has a fool for a sponsor.

·                    All I wanted was to control you, myself and everything else.

·                    My disease is an elephant. As long as I remember it's there, I won't get stepped on.

·                    Try praying. Nothing pleases God more than to hear a strange voice.

·                    Reality can be hell when you're only visiting.

·                    God save me from myself.