Alcoholic-Addicts

by Carolyn F., San Diego

Alcoholics Anonymous was founded and remains dedicated to helping those who have a desire to stop drinking alcohol.  Fortunately, since AA’s success, many anonymous programs have been created which closely follow our 12 step program.  Many of us AAers are members of these other programs.

When I first started AA, I noticed an interesting phenomenon during introductions. This phenomenon was the individual who announced himself/herself as an “alcoholic-addict”.  This label was confusing. I never understood it, especially in closed AA meetings.  Honestly, many people who sit in the rooms of AA, including myself, have other addiction problems.  My thought was, “Why single yourself out?”  I thought that perhaps since so many of us think we are terminally unique, the dual label made the individual feel “better than” or “more sick than” others.  While trying to figure it out, I actually built resentments these ‘sicker than me’ members.

Once I brought a close friend to my home group.  I was surprised when she introduced herself as “an alcoholic-addict.”  Afterward, I asked why.  She explained that alcohol had always made her violently ill, so after her disastrous youthful drinking experiences, she rarely drank.  She promised that had the physical reaction been different, she would have been a raging alcohol just like her parents.  Having “failed at alcohol”, she turned to pills. After 20 years, she ended up with a severe, costly addiction to prescription pain meds.  Her addict story was similar to AAers, living in denial, bargaining, switching from one drug to another, lying to loved ones, hiding her drugs, relapses, etc.  During rehab, there were H&I sponsored AA meetings and the occasional trips to outside AA meetings.  She got sober with AA as her foundation. After rehab she tried several meetings geared for drug addicts but never found the fellowship she had experienced with AA.  So she started attending AA meetings and working the steps with a sponsor.  But one night she was asked to leave a closed AA meeting because she introduced herself only as an addict.  As a result, she now introduces herself as an “alcoholic-addict.”  Occasionally she’ll simply call herself “an alcoholic”, though it doesn’t feel honest to her.

While I still find the “alcoholic-addict” label intriguing, I no longer spend much time thinking about it.  I think of my friend who tried, unsuccessfully, to become a drunk like me.  She finds serenity in our rooms which is not available elsewhere.  We have in common the desire to be sober and that works for me…and her!

By Bill W.

We cannot give A.A. membership to nonalcoholic narcotics addicts. But, like anyone else, they should be able to attend certain open A.A. meetings, provided, of course, that the groups themselves are willing.

Reprinted with permission from A.A.W.S.,           Problems other than Alcohol P35

First Things First

Whether the family goes on a spiritual basis or not, the alcoholic member has to if he would recover. The others must be convinced of his new status beyond the shadow of a doubt. Seeing is believing to most families who have lived with a drinker.

Here is a case in point: One of our friends is a heavy smoker and coffee drinker. There was no doubt he over-indulged. Seeing this, and meaning to be helpful, his wife commenced to admonish him about it. He admitted he was overdoing these things, but frankly said that he was not ready to stop. His wife is one of those persons who really feels there is something rather sinful about these commodities, so she nagged, and her intolerance finally threw him into a fit of anger. He got drunk.

Of course our friend was wrong - dead wrong. He had to painfully admit that and mend his spiritual fences. Though he is now a most effective member of Alcoholics Anonymous, he still smokes and drinks coffee, but neither his wife nor anyone else stands in judgment. She sees she was wrong to make a burning issue out of such a matter when his more serious ailments were being rapidly cured.

Reprinted with permission from A.A.W.S.,           Alcoholics Anonymous, page 135.